how we align
by alecsangryface
Summary: After all they were the harmonious force that ensured the survival of the world
**A/N: I'm having too many jalec feelings, you get this. Win-win right?**

Jace, to Alec, is the sun. Bright and constant, the reason the world can turn and the people on it can live. It isn't poetic, Jace is the best Shadowhunter of his age, probably the best Shadowhunter to have ever graced the world with his existence, and he ensures everyone can live. He is the sun at its most scientific definition.

But Jace isn't just scientific. Jace is everything.

In Sanskrit the sun is responsible for giving light and energy so that the world is prosperous, but it also serves as a reminder that too much can cause scorches and famine. Too much of Jace is a bad thing too, Alec remembered when they first became parabatai and he could feel something so overwhelmingly Jace all the time even when they weren't together – which wasn't often – that it made his soul ache for relief. He could only cope with the ache because the sun brings light and shows truth. Jace's light showed Alec that he needed to be more, needed to better so he could stand beside his parabatai and face the world, knowing he deserved his place there.

The sun is the light of the soul, Jace is the bright light that calms the darkness of Alec's soul. He is the light within Alec that guides him in times of struggle. There had never been a time since they had become parabatai where Jace didn't know where he was going, what he was doing, Alec needed that guidance. For years the limited light he had in him had been stumbling around his soul until it had been joined with Jace's, and his light found a place to call home. The soul ensures life, if it is not happy the body grows sick. Alec hadn't known how sick he was until he had been healed by the parabatai ceremony.

Jace, like the sun, is constant. Even when they are separate, they are together. Jace sets the pace of the day, when they rise, when they sleep and the seasons. Jace is the brightest in the summer but in the fall he is the most beautiful, simultaneously harsh and soft, the sun ready to retire somewhat in the winter when Jace is reminded most heavily of the pain he had suffered.

Alec shared his thoughts with Jace one afternoon when it was just the two of them. They had been drinking so his tongue was looser than he had wished, and they were laid in the Institutes roof garden – the only place untouched by the evil they had to confront daily. It was the last light of the day, the sun lowering to an orange hue that framed Jace's head like a halo. Alec wanted to drag his eyes away from the light, like the sun was going to make him go blind but Jace's small smile kept his focus. The sun at the centre of his universe.

Jace's laughter was not unkind, it was shocked. He bared his neck as his torso curled into itself, he was pure joy and thankfulness. He rolled to his side to prop his head on a hand, his eyes boring into Alec's like he could see the part of him that had taken root in Alec's soul.

"If I'm the sun, what does that make you?" All traces of the alcohol they had forced into their bloodstream was gone. Jace was clear eyed, clear headed and serious. It was jarring. The sun wasn't supposed to be serious, it was supposed to be bright and whimsical.

"The moon I guess?" Alec had thought about that too. He could have been the earth, it's very being purposed to harness the life that the sun gave, but it wasn't enough. Alec revolved around the world that revolved around Jace.

"And what about it? How do you align with the moon?" Jace rolled up easily to his knees so he could roll back down onto his back next to Alec, their heads now placed together like they had done so many times since they were children.

"The only light the moon has is a reflection of the suns" Alec whispered eventually when the moon was peeking out from behind a dark cloud, his breath creating their own wisps of vapour to dance above their heads until it disappeared.

Jace huffed, "What else?"

"What else is there? My world is the world that revolves around you" Alec wasn't bitter. He didn't want to be the sun, he didn't want to have to give life so selflessly. He needed to be the reflection of Jace's soul.

"But that isn't all the moon is" Jace replied. He rolled his head to the side to stare at the side of the face next to him that suddenly didn't want to look at him, like looking at him would be his last autonomous action.

"The moon gives life just as much as the sun. It stops the tides from rising to suffocate everyone by water filling their lungs. Without the moon the world would freeze over even with the suns heat. You can't compare yourself to the moon and say you don't matter Alec" Jace laid a hand over his best friend's parabatai rune, the only way they could ever be closer than they already were, "You matter to the safety of the world just as much as I do. Without you there would be nothing for me to save."

Alec allowed himself to smile. Jace took it as a signal to continue his lesson on the moon.

"Astrology!" Jace laughed "If your logic is right, which it isn't by the way but I digress, everyone should know their sun sign. They don't"

Alec just raised his eyebrows as if to say 'what's your point?' Jace let out a long suffering sigh and sat up, crossing his legs and waving his hands so Alec would join him in the same position. Alec huffed but did so anyway. Jace took the opportunity to examine Alec. Where Jace was round and angelic features, Alec was harsh lines and frown lines. Darkness was creeping into the sky behind him and it made Alec look terrifying. Jace wasn't scared of him, but he knew what his parabatai could do and that was enough to frighten anyone.

"Everyone knows their moon sign. People know who they are in relation to you" Jace held up a hand to stop him before Alec could protest, "Izzy and Max see the world in you, you make them more than just one of the Lightwoods. From you they know they are intelligent, compassionate, truly _good_ people."

Alec looked thoughtful enough for Jace to continue. When he did he was softer, tenderer because Alec meant more than the world to him, " _I_ know who _I_ am because of _you_. I'm not the saviour the world wants me to be. I'm just Jace. I know that because of _you_ , Alec"

"You'll never be 'just Jace'" Alec muttered bitterly, whether it was his own jealousy or anger that Jace had to be more than he was, he didn't know. He was sure it was both.

"To you I am" Jace replied matter-of-factly, "That's all that matters to me. _You_ are all that matters to me"

Jace spoke with such a certainty that it made Alec's breathing hitch. He knew he was important to Jace, it was part of being his parabatai, he never expected to be that important. Jace had once told him that the only person he had ever cared for was his father. Knowing he was being afforded the same amount of love was mystical.

"Jace-"

"Don't sound so surprised, Alec" Jace laughed and clapped him on the shoulder, his hand lingering as he sent Alec the most beautiful smile he had ever seen, "We're parabatai, we're closer than brothers. Of course I love you"

 _I love you._ The words raced around Alec's brain until it short-circuited and the only thing he could think was that Jace's hand was still on his shoulder.

"I love you too" The words burned his tongue as they slipped past his lips. Of course he did, just not in the way Jace thought.

He shook the pain off and decided that if being the moon to Jace's sun was all he could be then he would take it. He decided that being the moon to Jace's sun was the best thing to happen to him in his short life. After all was said and done they were the harmonious force that ensured the survival of the world, and that's what it really meant to be parabatai.


End file.
